my story 

The thing about grief is that it never really ends. According to Jamie Anderson, “Grief is just love with no place to go.”

In 2018, my daughter Abby died from a Glioblastoma brain tumor. I knew she was going to pass but it didn't make grief any easier to deal with. After her passing, I returned to teaching and was busy with projects and filling that void in my life. Some days I could carry on, but other days grief would raise its ugly head and it was brutal putting a smile on my face. I taught for five more years until I realized that I couldn’t ignore my emotional pain because it was affecting my health. I retired in 2023 and started my healing journey.

I spent that summer reading books on grief and talking with individuals about their loss. After months of searching for something to help me, I came across Art & Creativity. The program was created by Laurie Zagon and is based in Southern California; it supports emotional healing through art.

I told myself that I love art so what better way to heal, right? I called, signed up for a class, and I waited with bated breath. I felt a little intimidated because all three paintings would be painted abstractly. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I knew I had to jump in with both feet.

Finally, the time came, I introduced myself to the class, listened to the instructor, and was ready to start one of three paintings. As I put the sponge in my hand, and dipped it in the paint, I felt at home. Finally, I had allowed myself to feel and for once in a very long time, peace washed over me. I could breathe and my body felt lighter.

By the time I painted the second painting, “A Power Greater than Myself,” I swear the colors started speaking to me and something ignited inside, maybe a glimmer of hope. I hadn't experienced anything like this before, but I knew it was exactly where I was supposed to be: allowing my heart to heal. The third painting was called, "A Prayer." I painted a prayer that I wanted for myself. The experience was so powerful and absolutely beautiful. 

The workshop had struck a chord within me and there was no turning back. At the end of the first workshop, I decided I had to share this method of healing with others. The toughest moment of my life was now opening a door for me to help others. I knew it would be a long journey but it would be worth every step.    

I learned to honor the gift of grief with love on my healing journey. I trusted myself again, connected, embraced my vulnerability, and accepted that it is ok to have a range of emotions associated with grief. Most importantly, I didn't have to create a narrative about my emotions or the paintings; I was safe to release my pain, without words, just color. I was given back the freedom to move on with my life. 

Thank you for reading my story about my healing journey. I urge you to share your feelings and tell your stories about your loved one. You are not alone and if you need someone to talk to, I am here. Art4healing has the power to heal, I know this because my once-broken heart is at peace.

With Love & Light, 

           Faith